New Thoughts (10/18/10-10/23/10)
The nature of the narrative is that our focus must be upon Mary and her actions. This is where Jesus turns our eyes and so it is where we must look. I expect that I shall have opportunity to consider the others who are presented to us in this scene once I have completed my thoughts on the scene as a whole.
There is, however, one bit of supposition I should like to explore briefly – something which had come to mind as I looked at the several articles on those who attended this dinner. One of these articles noted the evidence which would seem to indicate that Lazarus, Martha and Mary were a family of some means and position themselves. They point to the attendance upon the earlier period of mourning for Lazarus, the many who were coming out from Jerusalem to offer their condolences, as well as the fact that Martha was able to provide for those who were coming out.
Along side this, there is that vague suggestion that maybe Lazarus was the author of the Gospel of John. Now, I think that suggestion can be rather easily set aside as baseless. However, it gave rise to a thought: John, whom I would still hold actually did write that Gospel, was one who also seems to have had some connections around Jerusalem. We discover, for instance, that he was not unknown to the household of Caiaphas. It may be that his family had relatives in the area. Why not? Jesus did. After all, it’s a pretty small country, Israel, and with centuries of history for a people who did not tend towards associating with those other peoples around them.
This leads me to the possibility that it is through John that Jesus came to know of Lazarus and his family. There is nothing directly related that would give reason to suppose such a thing. On the other hand, John is rather reticent to bring any attention to himself in his gospel account anyway. Yes, Luke has his coverage of Mary and Martha, but his point is most immediately to demonstrate Jesus, not the connections his disciples may or may not have had. But, isn’t it just possible that this family in Bethany was already known to John? He who knew his way around town, who was known around town, mightn’t he also have known these others who seem to have traveled those same circles?
If this were the case, it might also explain how it is that he came to cover their particular place in the Gospel narrative so fully. It’s not necessary for that explanation, no. After all, the resurrection of Lazarus, particularly as it was held from the previous Gospel accounts, was of such powerful necessity to proclaim that it should surely have been part of John’s account. But, this dinner had already been covered, if not with names attached. Was the fact that it was these three really of such critical import to make known? Perhaps so. Perhaps John felt only that the memory of her, which Jesus had insisted would accompany His message forever, could hardly be done justice if the name of her whose memory was to be preserved went unknown.
I rather think there was more to it, though. What would most suggest this event to John as something worth noting, as one of the holes in the Gospel accounts that he was uniquely positioned to fill? Would it not be the close bonds he had with this family, both preceding the ministry and only that much more as the ministry of Jesus approached its culmination? Again, we hear rather little about events in the subsequent history of the Apostles, surprisingly little, really. Yes, we know John eventually wound up in Asia Minor, but there was a long period of service in Jerusalem prior to that. How often did he go out to Bethany himself, for times of refreshing with friends of long standing? Where better for him to see to that responsibility for Mary that Jesus had assigned to him from the cross? So far as we know, John was unmarried – hardly in a position to see to her care himself.
As I say, these are necessarily no more than suppositions, possibilities. Perhaps they are but vain imaginations, though I would hope not that! At the very least, it seems to me worthwhile to spend a bit of time in the fashion I learned from that period in which we shared our space with the synagogue: reading between the lines of the necessarily skeletal record of the Scriptures. No, we cannot arrive at concrete truths in these wanderings through the blank spots. But, we can begin to recognize, perhaps, a bit of the humanity beneath the rather mythological images we tend to have of these men.
They were not giants. They were not somehow so morally superior to us as to make them uniquely fit to serve their assigned roles. Indeed, as I have found cause to state before, it is solely because they were chosen for these assigned roles that God sovereignly saw to their being fit for that service. God chose. God changed. God equipped. We see it most clearly in Peter, who seems most unfitting for the office that was put upon him, yet showed himself so thoroughly capable. The same could be said of Paul, if in a rather different sense. The same, in fairness, must be said of each of the apostles, and of each of us who have believed.
This seems as good a segue as any with which to turn the focus onto Mary, where it rightly belongs in this instance. Of course, in focusing on Mary, we cannot help but focus on Jesus, which is as it should be, and surely as Mary would have wanted it. The first point to be made about Mary in this case is that point Jesus makes in regard to her. We are all but plagued with the “What would Jesus do?” question. In this case, however, we do well to consider, “what did Jesus think?” Fortunately for us, He is clear on that topic! Jesus sees Mary as a woman of great worth. He has said so before, in this household, back when Martha was a bit rougher around the edges. He saw that Mary was connecting with His purpose in a way that Martha had not yet done. Mary had chosen the one thing that was really necessary: to connect to God through His teaching, through His example. That connection being established, her transformation into the Mary we see here was pretty much inevitable.
Here, Mary’s emotional depths are on display. I would be tempted to say spiritual depths, but really it’s the emotions that are so out in the open. That she loved deeply where she loved at all was already evident from the scene at the grave of her brother. Her sorrow at the loss of one so dear was almost consuming her. She had no time, really, for the comforting murmurs of those who came to mourn. She had nothing to spare in trying to be civil to them. Only for Jesus, when He came, had she anything left, for her love for Him was on that same level. As such, there was hurt. Why hadn’t He prevented this? She knew He was capable. How could He let it happen?
Oh! There is the cry of every believer’s loss! I know it entirely too well myself. In my younger days, that was a question that turned me away from this One Who so loved my soul. If You loved me, how could You allow the death of my mother? Even as my father sought to become a minister in Your house! This is love? This is thanks? No, I did not understand then. Neither can I understand why some, like my own wife, are left in the midst of chronic and degrading illness in spite of a deep and abiding love for this same God. But, I know this much: He does so for her good and mine, though I cannot grasp how this is ever going to be good, yet I can know it will be.
I could think, as well, of this woman in our new church home, battling cancer, with husband and several children yet needing – dare I say deserving – her continued presence in her capacities as wife and mother. Yet, the reports are hardly encouraging. But, this I know! There is a God in heaven, and He has never – not EVER – abandoned His children. He has never – not EVER – withheld His love nor His good graces from those whom once He has called. His grace is sufficient. Though He slay me, yet I will serve Him and yes, even love Him. Though He take from me this most precious of relationships, yet I will remain His.
Yes, Mary knew sorrow and confusion, but she knew, even then, that this Jesus mattered more than anything this life had to offer, than anything this life could do to her or those she loved. The loss of everything was yet worth it if she gained this Jesus, if she was found with the Messiah. This is exactly what Jesus is responding to as she comes to this dinner party – at least in part. It is the purity of her love for Him and the depth thereof that moves Him to mark her out for a perpetual remembrance.
Critics complain that hers was a repeat action, something another had already done, of which she no doubt was aware. Of course, there is doubt as to whether she would be aware of that prior event. However, even if she was, what of it? It is not the price of that perfume that has impressed Jesus, nor even the use of her hair as a towel. It is not the act at all! It is the motive. It is always the motive! What moved her to do this? It was the power of a pure love, a love that so overwhelmed her heart that to do nothing was not only unthinkable, it was impossible!
Where from that love? As I look at Jesus’ commendations of this woman, it seems pretty clear that the love that she expresses is, as it ought to be, the overflow of God’s love for her. Yes, there is also the gratitude she doubtless feels for His having raised her brother back to life, and that, too, is commendable. To acknowledge what Jesus has done, what God has done, is assuredly pleasing in His sight. But, it is the love that truly marks this event.
On that previous occasion, with Simon the Pharisee, Jesus had commented that the woman who had anointed His feet on that occasion loved much because she had been forgiven so much (Lk 7:47). We must surely understand that this is not meant as a commendation of going out and doing more things that need forgiving that we might love more fully. No way! It is not the magnitude of forgiveness required that He is commending, but her recognition of both the truth of her sinfulness and the reality of God’s forgiveness. Remember that forgiveness had not even been officially pronounced yet, when she did this thing. But, she knew it was there. She knew, and love responded to Love.
In the case of Mary and this dinnertime anointing, we have no knowledge of any vast body of sin she has needed forgiven. There are doubtless such sins that were indeed forgiven, as there are in any one of us, however far progressed in Christian life. The greater seed for love in her case lies in what He had done for another, for her brother. Oh, yes, there is that self-interest involved. She had keenly felt his loss and as keenly felt his restoration. But, at core, it was his gain, being restored to life, was it not? True, there may have been some mixed emotions on his part, heaven or life? Which is to be preferred? Even as Paul felt the dilemma. But, overall, I think our own experiences make it plain that we are inclined to prefer this life, at least until God has made known to us that our time here truly is come to a close. It’s almost as though we have some innate sense of not being through yet.
Returning to Mary, though, she knows full well why she has her brother here at table. Because he is here to enjoy this meal, she knows such joy as cannot be contained, such love for this One Who restored her brother to her as cannot be contained. Yet, even this is only but the least portion of what moves her to the action she takes.
Look back across the admittedly limited image we are given of Mary. When first we meet her, she is sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to His teaching with rapt attention. She is just basking in the Word of God, no thought for anything else. Was this the first encounter? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. We really don’t know. But, there is something in her of that new convert intensity. We recall the days. I do, at any rate. I recall how, in those weeks following the realization that this God everybody was telling me about was not only real, but personally involving Himself in getting my attention, that I just couldn’t get enough of Him, of His Word, of fellowship with His people. There was seemingly nothing I wouldn’t do for Him, not that He was asking much of me at the time.
I recall, as well, the knowing comments of my elders, telling me that this would fade. Hah! Like Peter, I was so sure that while it may have been true for them, it would never be so for me. And, now? Hmm. Seems I’m one of those elders, quietly amused by the fire in the fresh-minted saints. Do you know what I discover? There’s a certain sadness in that amusement, a wondering how to get that fire back myself. There’s that sense that while my understanding of the Scriptures may be on the increase, there is this other aspect of faith that is sadly on the wane.
By way of contrast, I look at Mary. Now, we don’t know how much time has passed between that first dinner at Martha’s place, and this dinner with Simon. But, we do know this: there’s no sign of her passions fading. She still has that first-love intensity going. Martha, we see has changed. It could have been the work of an instant, yes, but that doesn’t seem to be the way Jesus tends to work, does it? It’s more often the process, when it comes to the renewing of our minds. So, I would be inclined to say that some time has passed, enough for Martha to mellow into a true servant of God, enough time for Mary to have lost some of that headlong passion of fresh faith and matured, as we like to think, into a more conservative sort of faith. But, she hasn’t. What we see on display at this dinner is no conservative, guarded sort of faith. It is the same sort of abandon that had held her at His feet listening throughout that first encounter. It is the same sort of abandon that had caused her to abandon the house of mourning so soon as she knew He was near, to go and weep at His feet, to break His heart with the sorrow of her own.
In the same fashion that those earlier emotions had overflowed her heart, driven her to such actions as she took, so too the gratitude, the thankfulness that she feels now. She is so pleased to see Jesus thus honored, to see Him receiving at least a modicum of the respect He deserves. And, there is that feeling stirring within. Perhaps you’ve encountered it. It is that sense of electricity, that one cannot possibly sit still another moment, but must, simply MUST take action, speak what demands being spoken, do what demands being done. On rare occasions, I have known that feeling. I would dare to call it the prompting of the Holy Spirit, moving us into taking that necessary action that we, in our fleshly weakness, might be too nervous to take.
I think Mary was feeling that same irresistible push into action on this occasion. Remember Simeon, who just happened to be at Temple when Jesus was brought in to be circumcised (Lk 2:25-32). He ‘came in the Spirit into the Temple’ that day. He was feeling that irresistible push to be there. He didn’t know why. He had no idea, as he left his house, that he was going out to meet Messiah. But, he sure knew it when the time came! God, the Holy Spirit, had maneuvered him into position for a necessary moment. Mary, in this case, was being maneuvered in the same fashion by the same Holy Spirit. Now, don’t get all offended by this, and suppose that these sorts of things make mere pawns of those so moved. Not at all! Indeed, from my limited experience with such moments, there is an incredible exhilaration that comes on the heels of the event. There is, in those moments, an acute awareness of just how much God has taken care to be involved in my life.
Consider the message Jesus delivers, particularly as we have it in John 12:7. Admittedly, the translations here are not of one mind as to the significance, but I’d have to say the NIV and other translations that follow along the lines of that one have come closer to an accurate reading. “[It was intended] that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial.” Now, Mary had no idea that’s what she had bought this stuff for. Indeed, I’m not even sure she bought it. Perhaps it had been a gift from her parents. Perhaps it was something in her dowry, awaiting the day. After all, this is expensive stuff! For an average worker, we’re talking a year’s wages for that bottle! So, let’s put it in terms we might recognize today: maybe 20 grand? Maybe 40? This wasn’t something bought on a whim, and it wasn’t something one would use lightly, with no thought. But, she used it. Whatever she thought she’d bought it for, in this moment, at this dinner, she knows. It was bought for just such a time as this!
Likewise, her actions, as she takes them are not something she sees fraught with deep significance. She is not attempting to ‘move in the prophetic’. She has no such thought in mind. She only knows that she is so thankful for this Jesus, that her love for Him is so great, and that this current running through her at the moment will not let her hold back. She has in mind what she would do, and she will do it. Nothing could stop her in this moment. Nothing could stop her because her heart and her mind are in perfect accord with God’s will.
This, I think, is where that current arises. Doesn’t it rather make sense? After all, from the most basic introductions to electricity we understand that so long as a circuit remains open, no current flows. The potential is there, but nothing’s happening. But, when the switch is closed, the contacts made, the circuit completed! Then, such power is not only potential, but it is realized! Current flows. The light bulb lights. The motor engages. Whatever it may be, power is flowing because connection has been made. Can it be that this is how it is with our will and God’s purpose? Two contacts in a switch, and for most of our days that switch sits open, because our will is off. But, there are those times. There are those occasions where we are moved to act in one accord with what God has perhaps been trying to tell us needed doing for a long, long time. Suddenly, the switch closes and current is flowing, and we feel it! We know it! In that moment, there is no longer the possibility of not doing it.
For some, it may be the moment of knowing their calling into a more sacred vocation. For some, it is a particular message that needs to be delivered, or a particular act that needs to be undertaken. Maybe it’s a particularly sacrificial donation into the work of God. Maybe it’s something as simple as writing a note of appreciation to somebody. Maybe a phone call, a reaching out. But, it’s there! God told us it would be there, didn’t He? I can’t find the reference at the moment, but I know it well enough. He has prepared these things beforehand that we might do them. He has set up these good works for us, that we might enjoy the participation in His purpose when we do them. Isn’t that what’s happening here? Mary is doing a good work, and that, for the Lord Himself! She was, quite unawares, holding this vial of perfume for just this occasion, and when the occasion came, she suddenly knew it; knew it with a certainty that would brook no delay. And so, because it was thus ordained, it would be said, “She has done what she could; she has anointed My body beforehand for the burial.”
Understand that this was not what she thought she was doing. She was just blessing this Man who had so blessed her, her family, their host, so many! What honor could possibly match the worth of His actions? What gift could ever be too extravagant? When He had done so much, what would ever be too much for her to do in response? Obviously, I restrict myself to the bounds of righteousness in that question, as did she. But, even so, the utter extravagance not only of the perfume whose cost so scandalized Judas, but in her action in even doing such a thing! I don’t know that we grasp the enormity of this deed for one such as Mary.
One of the claims made in support of equating this dinner and that earlier one when Jesus was similarly anointed is that Jesus would hardly be inclined to so greatly praise what was a repeat action. Well, assume for the sake of argument that Mary knew of this previous occasion. The question remains why has she chosen to do so on this occasion? Understand that this is not something premeditated. She has not, in any direct sense at least, been sitting about the house wondering what she could do to really stun Jesus, or even what she could do that would express the depth of gratitude she felt for the restoration of her brother. Trust me, she’s been dwelling on that gratitude, but not in this direct sense.
This action she has undertaken has the marks of something more spur of the moment. The opportunity is there, the motivation is there, but the planning of things? Not so much. All she knows is that she must seize this moment, must give vent to the thankfulness in her soul or she will explode. What to do? She casts about in her mind (and in her chambers) for something worthy, something magnificent enough to at least begin to do justice to her feelings. That perfume! It is the most costly thing she has, maybe the only thing of real value, as value is measured on this ball of dust. And now, the emotions within sensing the moment of release, she is all action. She must move or be paralyzed by fear, but perfect love casts out all fear, and her love, if not perfect, is certainly stronger than even the love of spouse for spouse.
So, she takes up that alabaster jar, hardly even thinking about what she is doing, hardly daring to think. She cannot stop now. That electricity I have spoken of is coursing through her. Even fear couldn’t stop her in this moment. The Spirit of the Lord is upon her, whether she recognizes it or not, and she is all but propelled towards that room, that dinner. Entering, her first reaction is to anoint His head. It is, after all, a fairly obvious place to start. This is how kings and high priests and all the others have been anointed time immemorial. But, this done, the complaints are already in the air, Judas and others in the room shocked at the wastefulness of her actions. They just don’t understand. Worse yet, that initial euphoria in which she had been moving is starting to fade under the criticism.
She backs away from the table slightly, hearing the words of Jesus as she does so. “Let her alone! Why are you bothering her?” Of course He understands. Such is her relief at this that she all but collapses at His feet, overwhelmed with tears. Those tears: what are they about? They’re about all of it. They’re about the thankfulness that first compelled her to this act. They’re about the pain of those accusations of waste. They’re about the relief of feeling the love of Jesus as He defends her against her accusers (most Wonderful Advocate!)
And, as she is there crying, she notices that there remains yet some of that nard in her jar. And, here are His feet. You know, the thankfulness that moved her to come here has only been amplified by His defense of her. Even the extravagance she has displayed thus far does not do Him justice. Her thoughts cast about for something more, and perhaps they recall that woman He spoke of at that other dinner. Well, she can do that much, and why shouldn’t she? She who has already cost herself so dearly by these actions understands what it cost that other woman. She understands why that other woman had been willing to pay such a cost, and she knew herself to be just as willing. No, she wasn’t in competition. She simply has arrived at this example in a very brief moment of wondering what she should do, and having hit on the example, knowing the similarity, knowing that she has still the means to make such an offering, nothing in this world could stop her now. She’s already faced down embarrassment. She’s already been battered by abusive opinion. She’s frankly got nothing left to lose now, and everything to give.
Do we begin to get a sense of just how costly this abandon of hers has been? It goes so very far beyond the price of the perfume. That’s nothing! For all that we like to say that when God has your wallet He’s got you, it really isn’t the case. The wallet is easy. It’s not intimate. Besides, we’ll earn it back in short order. Honestly, it’s entirely probable that she hadn’t paid for that perfume herself. The perfume wasn’t the offering. She was the offering. Her dignity, her pride, her reputation: all of that was laid on the altar of sacrifice in that moment. Like David dancing in the streets of Jerusalem, this has been a moment of total abandon. The love of the Lord has so overwhelmed her that all thought of self has faded, if not from thought entirely, then at least so far as to carry no weight when measured against this opportunity to glorify her Lord. These momentary, light afflictions, though weighty in the moment, are as yet nothing when compared to the eternal weight of glory that is in Him and that she understood was her inheritance as well (2Co 4:17).
Yes, this moment of abandon had been costly, indeed. Costly beyond the calculus of Judas and his kind. Consider this: Above and beyond the expenditure, above and beyond the battle within her own nature (she being the introverted sort she seems to have been), there is the breaking with social norms. This is a patriarchal society we are observing, and so far as I can assess it, they are not in their own home. Martha is serving, yes, but Lazarus is not hosting, merely at table. The woman’s place, then, is either serving or just plain elsewhere. A woman had no business just busting into a dinner such as this. Yet, she had done so. She had done so into the staring, surprised eyes of well over a dozen men. She had done so into a buzz of questioning conversation that had begun before ever she broke open her jar. What is this? What is she doing here? And, she knew beforehand that this is how it would be. She knew it was not the way things are done. She knew there would be talk. She knew there would be consternation, maybe even condemnation. But, she did it anyway. He was worth more.
This is my challenge. This is where I need to make headway. How much is my God worth to me? That’s a question that is difficult to face honestly. My immediate reaction is that He is obviously worth everything and more. And yet, if this is the case, how is it that my actions and my thoughts so rarely provide evidence of any such opinion? It’s interesting that this focus has been coming up in so many different places of late. The Saturday men’s group, focused on the book, “Crazy Love”, is clearly trending along lines of letting life reflect the love He has for us and we therefore have for Him. But, so also is the study of Ephesians. So, also, is this study. These are not orchestrated events, as far as the hands of man are concerned. But, they are orchestrated by He Who arranges the heavens!
This should certainly prompt me to pay attention to the focus of His orchestration. I must face myself in the light of His attention, as the Holy Spirit allows me to see honestly. I confess that over the years, much of my effort has been focused on the ‘mind’ side of loving God. Call it a reaction to the emotionalism of the Charismatic movement. Call it natural tendency. Call it cold, New England character. The reason really doesn’t matter. What matters is that it has left me with an imbalance. Jesus proclaimed that we are to love God with all our heart, all our mind, and all our soul. It’s not a list of options, it’s a list of equally important requirements.
So, I come back to the question: If I love Him so much, how is it that this so rarely shows, at least outside the safe setting of the church building? Putting it another way, why am I not the same man at work as I am in the pew? Why am I not the same man in the kitchen as I am in a Bible study? No, that’s not really the same question, but it demonstrates the problem, I think. I say I love Him, but I also feel perfectly free to ignore Him and to ignore His requirements if they don’t happen to suit me at the moment. This ought not to be. I know that! I know there needs to be change. And yet…
So, here’s my challenge to myself. Somehow, the love that I know is really there needs to be made more real. If, as it seems to me, I have been focused too much on the mental aspect, if I have become so used to pushing that part of the equation in an effort to balance out the less intellectual aspects of my church environs, then I have done myself a disservice. It’s not that the mind needs to be left behind. May it never be! But, the heart must not be left behind either. It seems I am forever talking about balance, seeking balance. But, I have been balancing my inward state against my outward environment, and the end result has been an inward imbalance. It is time that this change.
I am so challenged by what I see in Mary’s example. There is such abandon, such absolute liberty – I shall not use the freedom word. There is liberty to set self so fully aside and to let her love for God direct her. This is, I suppose, what it is to be Spirit led. Yet, I have grown so leery to claims of such leading, because it is so often little more than an excuse to be weird. Yet, the abandon that Mary experienced was not the abandon of a wanton, it was not the abandon of anarchy. It was, in a very real way, an abandon to the leading of the Holy Spirit. She did what she could, for something had prompted her to keep that vial for this day, for this moment.
Last week we were looking at the distinction between obligation and opportunity, recognizing that it was mostly a question of mindset. What changes the mindset, though? I mean, it’s how you look at the situation, obviously, but what will change the how? If I look, for example, at what my wife is going through physically, well, clearly she is obligated to go through the pain and frustration of what her symptoms bring upon her. I cannot even begin to imagine. I can offer sympathy, which is of little use. I cannot, in honesty, pray for healing and answers in the way that she would have me do, because I don’t hold that same sense of the meaning of things. I don’t believe that faith means God must keep us healthy, wealthy and wise in this world, for He has told us Himself that in this life we will have tribulation. Does that mean I don’t pray for her to be healed? No. Of course, I pray for that outcome. I would love nothing more than to see her released from this nearly lifelong suffering. I would love to see her come dancing forth, hale and whole. But, I don’t see God obligated to make it so. He is not required to whisper in her ear, “take this supplement, visit that doctor, use these medications, eat this meal.” It would be nice. It would be lovely! But, there’s a bigger picture.
I look at this because it most fully demonstrates the challenge to me. Daily, this poor woman is faced with the pain. Daily, she is forced to decide whether she’s simply going to muscle her way through the obligation, or whether she is going to seek the opportunity that lies in the midst. Daily, I face this same dilemma in her. I mean, it’s great in theory, right? Yes, I should be able to look at her situation and rest in seeking out what it is God is looking to accomplish in that situation. It should be easier for me, right? I mean, I’m not feeling the pain directly. But, I have to confess, as much as I am determined that there is good here, because He does good for His children, works all things for their good; yet, I would have to say I cannot see anything good here.
When I consider the wife of one of our new acquaintances, mother of five, is it? And, she’s laid out in a battle against cancer. It’s a battle I’ve known God to win for others. There’s no cause to suppose He won’t do so here, but the situation has not looked good of late. And, I confess, I have to ask, “God, how is this good?” But, to actually live it! To actually live that conception that God is good, that He works all things for good, that He gives us good and perfect gifts; to live that belief when the gifts don’t seem particularly good, when things seem to be spiraling down the drain: Is it in me?
Is this trust I claim more than a mental exercise? Yes. I have no doubt at all about that. Yes, it is. Am I perfect in keeping this more accurate perception of my daily situations? No, but I think it’s improving. Yet, there is a reserve about me, a reserve about my faith. It’s for me. It’s internal. It’s the deep, rarely revealed inner being. Look, I’m not that inclined to share hopes and dreams stuff anyway. Been burned too many times, I suppose. You know, I was asked that question on an evaluation sheet a week or two back, “do you have somebody with whom you can share your hopes and dreams, your fears and successes?” My immediate reaction? I have no hopes or dreams. They’ve been burned out of me over the last few years. Sheesh! Think there’s something that needs dealing with there?
Well, Lord. This may not be the best analysis, but it sure is showing a problem. Holy One, is it this hurt, this sense of crushed hopes, that is holding back the outpouring of love that should be in me? I mean, I’ve never been a particularly demonstrative, emotive type, I suppose, but there’s been a wall, and I would that You would work with me to bring that wall down. Oh, Holy Councilor! Guide me. Guide me to the one I can trust with such disappointments. Guide me to Yourself, oh yes! But, also, to that brother with whom I can allow my safeguards to drop away. Teach me, oh my King, to walk away from the masks, to come into a place where I can stand exposed, even as Mary stood exposed at this dinner, and allow Your grace to heal the damage.
I have noted this already, but it bears repeating: What was important here, as with that other woman at that other meal, was not the act that was performed, but the motive behind the act. It’s interesting that yet again a discussion that rather parallels this lesson of Mary’s costly abandon came up in men’s group this morning. Thinking about that concept of giving it all, thinking about what that means for us in this relatively affluent western culture of ours, the thought arises as to whether we are supposed to be doing just that in most literal fashion. What of stewardship? What of providing for those over whom we have this temporary charge? Where is the balance? It can be an agony! If I provide for my family, am I neglecting the Lord’s command? If I give every last penny to the work of God and leave my family to fend for themselves, am I neglecting the Lord’s command? Why, as my brother asked, didn’t Jesus tell us plainly and in detail what He wanted in this regard?
I hold that there is solid reason why He did not. That reason is quite simply that the answer does not lie in meeting some specification, some set of rules equally applied to one and all. The answer lies in hearing what God has for us to do in our moment, and then doing as we hear. It’s not the sacrifice, it’s the obedience. It’s not really even the obedience. It’s the willingness to commit ourselves to His purpose and His direction no matter what. This is the thing I see in Mary and her actions at this dinner. It’s not the cost of the perfume that mattered. It’s not even the cost of personal dignity. It’s that she pursued God’s purpose for her for that moment, and did so with no regard for any other factor.
You see, God’s purpose for us is not always obvious to others. It’s not even obvious to us, if we’re honest about it. I mean, we may on occasion have that irresistible sense of God’s purpose, that electrical impulse in our nerves moving us to action. We may recognize that it is God Who is so moving upon us, and we may act. Yet, like Mary, we may have no clue as to what the purpose is. We only know we must do, we must say. We’re often like farmers with a handful of seeds. Yet, we don’t really know what seeds we hold, only that we must cast them. As with the parable of the soils, we likely don’t know what manner of soil we are casting that seed into. We cannot know in that moment of sowing what, if any, fruit will come of it. We only know that here is seed, there is soil, and the clear and present command is to sow.
We may be sowing in what appears to be the most unlikely of soils. But, the command has come to sow. We may be called to testify to the most unlikely of listeners, ones we would never suspect of being receptive to anything to do with God. We may be called upon to act in what seem to be exceedingly foolish ways, totally counter to reason. Face it, pretty much anything we are called to do for God will at some level run counter to reason, at least as the world has trained us to reason. Yet, His commands are always reasonable. His ways are always fruitful.
The question is whether we shall pursue the purpose He calls us to pursue. The question is, when that command comes, will we heed the command, or trust to our own reason instead. Mary, I am quite convinced, had no clue what she was doing. I mean, she obviously knew she was opening a jar and pouring out its contents on Jesus. She was aware of her actions. But, as to the meaning of it all? No idea. Yet, I am also convinced that she knew very well that this was something she must do, one of those things God had prepared in advance for her to do. And, she did it!
She did it in spite of not having answers as to why it should be done. She did it in spite of the fact that to do so meant breaking every societal norm, meant acting in a fashion wholly at odds with her personality. She did so without calculating the personal cost, either in financial or in emotional terms. Hers was but to hear and obey, a true servant of the true Lord.
Would that I could say the same for myself! Would that I were more often aware of God’s purpose in the moment, rather than in retrospect. I have commented, in recent weeks, as to my desire that I would start seeing those purposeful moments through the windshield, as it were, rather than in the rearview mirror. There are times, yes. There are times when God gives me to speak a particular point, pray a particular prayer. But, they are the exception, it seems to me, and I do not suppose that it ought to be this way. We are called to a purposeful life, without necessarily jumping on that whole ‘purpose driven life’ craze. Driven? No. That borders to closely upon a works mentality. But purpose-aware, mindful moment by moment that we are not here just to pursue our daily chores, work our jobs, raise our kids, and generally go about our day like everybody around us.
Each moment has in it the potential to be obligation or opportunity. Each event, each ‘chance encounter’, has the potential to bear a certain kingdom significance. Look! It’s not about works. It’s not that by forcing every event into a spiritual channel of some sort we make ourselves more acceptable to God. In some ways, if this is our focus in those moments, it likely destroys what little value our actions may have had. Because, it’s not about the action and it’s not, in the end, about obedience. It’s about desire; motivation. It’s about the heart’s hunger to glorify and honor the God who has been so indescribably gracious towards us. This God Who loved us when we were yet His enemies, Who took it upon Himself to save us when we weren’t even aware we needed saving, and wouldn’t have opted to be saved even if we were aware! He didn’t do this because He needed His ego stroked by our gratitude. He did it because He loves us. He did it because He knew full well that we could never, by any means, free ourselves from what we had become, and His greatest desire was to see us thus freed.
Mary didn’t do this thing from obligation, and she certainly didn’t do it with an eye towards being memorialized. She did it because this Jesus Who sat at table was worthy of all glory and all honor. She did it because it was the thing she could do to thus glorify and honor Him. In her own way, she was giving as that widow with her mite had given: everything she had to give. Oh, yes, she would continue to have means by which to live thereafter. That’s not the point. She gave every last thing that God was calling her to give in that moment. She gave, in that moment, a perfect obedience to what God’s purpose was requiring of her. She didn’t demand understanding before she would act. She didn’t require assurances as to the outcome. She just acted. God called. She answered. This is the model.
Understand this, though: obedience is costly. As I said, those around us are highly unlikely to understand what we’re doing or why. They will assign no end of incorrect and despicable motives to what we have done. Oh, she’s just showing off. Oh, look how screwy her sense of piety is! She wasted that stuff when it could have gone to help the poor! She’s just looking for attention, trying to look holier than the rest of us. It’s human nature, sadly, to respond in this way. In particular, I believe the proper psychiatric term is projection. It’s often been said that the sins we most decry in others are those we know ourselves guilty of.
That idea is evident in the complaints issued here. Oh! She could have sold that stuff to help the poor, what is she thinking? But, what is Jesus’ response? “You can go out do them good whenever you feel like it.” Notice this. You can go out. Let me turn that just a little bit. You’re complaining about her? What have you done? You know, every last one of those who was whining about her wasteful actions was sitting at a dinner table, and I don’t for a moment suppose that this was just a basic, meet the needs, sort of meal. No! It was a celebration, an honoring of the guest. It was in its own way an extravagance. Who at that table complained of the waste of this meal they were eating? Who, upon looking at the delectable foods set before them, said, “No. Not for me! Let me take my portion, go out, and give it to somebody who has nothing else to eat”? Not a one.
This is hypocrisy. No question. That is exactly what Jesus points to, and yet it almost slips by unnoticed. Indeed, only Mark’s account notes that particular point, “You can do them good whenever you wish.” The rest settle for noting His comment that the poor will always be around. Hey, look! It’s almost an excuse for our inaction. After all, He’s pretty much saying that our almsgiving isn’t accomplishing anything anyway, so we can blow it off without feeling guilty about it. But, that’s not His point at all. His point is about the plank in the eyes of those pointing out the mote in Mary’s. She is doing what she has been called to do in this moment. Can you say the same? If not, then say nothing.
Notice the commandment that Jesus is echoing here. “The poor will never be gone from the land” (Dt 15:11). But, it doesn’t stop there. It’s not a comment on the futility of trying to fix it. It’s not a commentary on the ineffectiveness of any attempt to promulgate a war on poverty. No, it’s a reason to act. The verse continues. “So, I insist that you freely open your hand to your needy and poor brother in the land.” It’s a call to act. However much you do, it can never be enough, but to do nothing? It’s unthinkable! Or, at least it should be. If they cannot manage when you who have give freely, how can you possibly think they’ll manage if you don’t?
It is so reflective of God Himself, this attitude. He has given to us so freely. Imagine this from His perspective. However much He showers down His blessings, as He notes Himself, doing so upon saint and sinner without prejudice; however much He provides for the people of His creation, there will always be those in the land who utterly reject Him. Indeed, it must be argued that they will always be a majority. But, does He therefore stop providing? No! He continues to pour out His blessings upon fallen man. He continues to uphold them in life. Were He to turn His attention from us for the briefest of moments we should perish to a man. But, He will not. He continues to hold out hope to the hopeless, knowing full well that for the most part, the hopeless will choose their hopelessness. Yet, He gives. In the greatest of all possible senses He gives to the poor and needy in His land. And yet, they will always be there, always need what He gives and, for the most part, always fail to recognize that it is indeed He Who keeps giving.
This is not something that should compel us to act, as those grudgingly seeking to comply with the demands of a sever overlord. It should, however, compel us to acting from a deep seated gratitude. How can we claim the indwelling Spirit if that Spirit does not move us? “Let each do as his heart intends,” Paul wrote, when it came to supporting the Jerusalem church. “Not as one compelled. God loves a cheerful giver” (2Co 9:7). It’s not about obeying. It’s about gratitude. It’s not about how much you give, it’s about how you give. It’s about reflecting on how much God has done for you, and being moved by the love He has shown for you to show that same sort of love to others. No, we cannot really love as God loves. He is love. We are not. But, we can, to the degree that we comprehend His love, seek to emulate that love. To do otherwise ought to be unthinkable.
Consider the instructions Paul had earlier supplied. “If the man is ready, then his giving is acceptable in accord with what he has, not what he doesn’t have” (2Co 8:12-13). It’s not about strapping yourself to support somebody who’s already strapped. What would be the sense of that? It’s not about beggaring yourself to help the beggar. That just becomes an endless circle. Having helped the beggar to that extreme, you now require the beggar to give it all back to you because you are now the beggar. And then, of course, having beggared him all over again, you would need to give it back to him and so it would continue ad infinitum. No! As Paul continues, It’s not about afflicting yourself for another’s ease. It’s about equality.
This could be disturbing to our sensibilities. Sounds too much like socialism, doesn’t it? I mean, isn’t this what we complain our government has taken to doing? From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. But, look at this, for those who seek to make the Gospel a supporting strut of such social engineering miss a critical point. “At this present time your abundance can supply their want, in order that their abundance may also supply your want” (2Co 8:14). This is the equality of the Gospel. It’s not equality of outcome. It’s not about forced generosity such as governments impose. It’s about each using the gifts he has to the mutual benefit of the body as a whole. There is no room in the Gospel for the sluggard who would stay on the dole for life, perhaps giving a thank you to those who are taxed for his benefit, but never so much as thinking about improving his lot. No way! If they will not work, neither let them eat. But, we each have our areas of want, and we each have our areas of abundance.
We each have our spiritual strong suits, if you will, and over against this, we have our weaknesses. Somewhere in the body is that other whose strengths lie right where our weaknesses abound. We are not, in this instance, called to flock together with birds of a feather. We are not called to associate only with those who share our particular characteristics. Indeed, within the body of fellowship, we should more reasonably be seeking out those who are least like us, that we may gain from their strengths and they from ours, that all might grow together into the fullness of the image of the Christ we serve.
Isn’t that something! Isn’t that just totally at odds with what society would teach us to do! Yet, isn’t it ever the way of God to turn the economies of this world on their heads? After all, this world is that place where they have come to call the good evil and the evil good. The sad truth of the matter is that we have taken to accepting their judgments far more than we realize. We need – I need – to look at the many reminders God has been setting before me to reassess. There’s a reason we get all these calls for a self-check in the course of seeking God. Quite simply, it’s because we are all of us masters of self-deception, and unless God constantly rubs our noses in our own failings, we will rapidly convince ourselves that we’re actually quite worthy of His commendations. The sad truth remains that our best is still no better than filthy rags in His perfect sight. We cannot, in this lifetime, but sully the most noble of attempts to glorify Him by our very participation in those events. And yet, we must try. We cannot but try. And, miracle of miracles, our God is pleased by our efforts, however bumbling, however imperfect.
Therein is cause like no other to glorify the God of our creation! He so loves us that even though we present Him with – if you’ll pardon the phrase – total crap, He looks not at the junk we have set at His feet, but at the heart that wanted nothing more than to give Him something, anything, to say we love Him.
God, I thank You indeed for Your incredible tolerance of me. How I yearn to be able to present You with something truly worthy of Your name, truly clean and pure and right as You are clean and pure and right. At the same time, how thankful I am that You have not rejected such gifts as I have brought You. Like a proud and loving father (for indeed, You are a Great and Loving Father), You have treasured the junk. Not because the junk is pleasing in any way, but because You have seen the love in me reflecting Your love for me, because You know the desire that moves me beyond my capabilities. Oh! May You be truly glorified in my life. May You be pleased by the progress You see in me, You bring about in me, and may You be pleased to continue! Yes! And, I know that You shall continue, for You are faithful, though I am so often not. Thank You. With all that is in me, thank You. May all that is in me be brought into that full likeness You seek, and may it be done swiftly! Create in me, my Lord and King, a heart that is as instant to obey Your desires as it ought to be. I have so far to go, my God, so far! But, I do not lose hope, for I know You are with me every step of the way.
