New Thoughts (6/29/01-6/30/01)
This past week has been an occasion of experiencing all that the passage before us is talking about. It was a week that began with foreboding, and proceeded quickly onward to a seemingly endless array of bad news. It was a week during which I was thankful (for the most part) that I was in the process of studying this particular passage, because I needed the daily reminder that He is good, and He is in control. Indeed, as Calvin pointed out, there were points where I felt as though all hope was gone, that just one more thing would suffice to push me beyond my limit, yet God remained true to His word, and has not tested me beyond my ability, but has rather shown me a greater character than I thought I had. And, in the end, He has shone through those troubles, restoring hope beyond what I knew before. He has given me yet another occasion that I will be able to look back upon and see His hand of deliverance. And so, I have another support added upon which I can lean the next time things are bleak. Was I able to look upon all these trials as joyful occasion while I was in them? Nope. Never will. Nor does God call us to be quite so bereft of our senses. He does want us to look to Him in the midst, to remember Whom we serve, that we call Him "Master", and He is a good master. The great purpose of affliction is to turn our eyes to Him, when otherwise they would quickly be distracted by the world around us. And, in the end, as painful as all this has been, I come out knowing that even these things have been for a good purpose, and have only served to further sanctification, and have fertilized the fruit that the Spirit is causing to grow in me.
It seems that the Church at present is beginning to come back to the lesson of Job, for the reason his story is included in Scripture. For far too long, we in the western church have been happy to dwell in the blessings of the Lord. Too long, because we have learned to despise His chastisements, and so, we have slipped into a weaker faith. It's time to recognize the answer to Job's question: "How can we be willing to accept the good things from God, but not the hardships He sends" (Job 2:10)? We don't want to hear that! We try ever so hard to deny that God could allow such things to occur! It was the devil did this, it was the devil did that. Surely, not God. He's good. He couldn't do such things. But, the whole of Job tells us that He allowed the testing, He circumscribed the limits of the testing. He remains faithful to us even in this, for He knows us, and He longs for us to know ourselves, to grow into the full stature of what He created us to be.
Just now, I've had a call from a sister whose husband, newly in Christ, is undergoing tremendous trial. Oh, to be certain, the enemy is at work trying to turn him back from his recent commitment to the Lord, but even in this, the Lord is working to further strengthen that commitment. He can be trusted to help this man to stand. He can be trusted to keep those that He has called His own. And in this call, I see another portion of why He has had me going through the things I've had to deal with this week. I needed to be freshly come through a place of fear and anxiety, so that I could be here to minister to this very present circumstance in another. I needed the experience, that I might have the compassion and understanding to pray the more fervently for one in a similar state. Thank You, Father, for preparing me both for my own situation, which You provided for so incredibly through the timing of this study, and for this situation where prayer was so needed, and a sister needed the comfort of reassurance, that her husband was cared for by His Father. Oh, Lord! Trials may come, but You stand firm! Our hope remains secure, our anchor yet holds before Your throne, and nothing, nothing, NOTHING will shake that anchor loose! No storm of trials can come against us that You are not proof against. You are holy and awesome and faithful and true, and every trial You carry us through just leaves us the sweeter in reverence of You, my Lord and King.
Yes, we've come through afflictions to find that His peace - a peace so great and assured that we don't truly understand it - has guarded and kept us through it all (Php 4:7). We come to the end of it all, and find that He has indeed replaced our mourning with gladness, where our spirits were failing within us, He has brought forth the mantle of praise (Is 61:3). Shall I speak of last night? At the end of this torturous week, I, as part of the worship team, was called upon to serve in a multi-church conference on worship. This brought us into unfamiliar territory, not that worship is unfamiliar to us, but the setting was not the one we were accustomed to, and the building was not as well outfitted as ours for the type of worship we tend towards. Add to this, that we have had a history of very frustrating experiences when we play outside of our own church. Add to this, that my wife was taken ill, that I had, the day before, been so stressed and strained that I felt myself in danger of passing out. But we all of us (for my trials are not unique) came, in spite of that burden, in spite of the 'issues' of leading worship with no overheads, no monitors, in spite of an unusual (for us) inability to hear what we were playing; in spite of all this, we came determined to praise our Lord, and He blessed us with His mantle that we might do so. It was an experience to reverse and repair all the bad experiences we've had in previous trips. It was an experience to restore all the damaged confidence of those occasions, as we led a worship above and beyond our own abilities, and allowed God to reign and rule. Indeed! He replaced all the mournfulness of the week, the ashes of hopes seemingly destroyed, the weakness of our spirits within us, with the mantle of praises, with the anointing oil of gladness, with a celebration of worship that, both in our own service, and in the many other offerings made to His glory, was truly refreshing and restorative.
We were not brought before Him for an interview, but to abide as part of His household, so as to 'walk in the light of His countenance' even in this present life. This is the thing we need to remember as we go through the trials that will doubtless come. We are of His household, His children, His beloved, and He will in no wise abandon us. This is the firm foundation of our hope: The God who cannot lie, who has sworn by Himself, has declared Himself our Father, and has promised us a place in His home for eternity. I really liked the definition of hope that Barnes produced: Hope combines the emotions of desire and expectation. If either is missing, so is hope, and where they are out of balance, peace is gone. In the Christian, this balanced emotion of hope is placed in the desire, and confident expectation of obtaining to the glory of God, and so, we are sustained amidst all afflictions. If we expectantly desire to be with Him for eternity, if we expectantly desire to be like Him when we see Him as He is, we have all we need to be sustained in trials. If we expect to be with Him for eternity, but don't truly desire it (can this even be possible?), then we haven't a hope but a dread. Here, perhaps, is the end of the unrepentant sinner, for he will still spend eternity with God, but not in His favor, rather under His wrath.
Lord, once more, I just want to thank You for bringing me through this last week. I ask Your forgiveness for my weakness, for my stumbling and grumbling in the midst. Yet, I praise You for Your faithfulness to me through it all. I cannot fathom the goodness of Your love, Your peace. It' too vast, too far beyond the limits of my senses. Yet, I know beyond doubt that You have sustained me, sustained this family, through a very hard place, and I know beyond doubt that You will be faithful to lead us in the week to come, as we go on vacation. I'm going to miss this time, this ability to pour out my thoughts. I'm amazed, even now, at how You orchestrate this study to time things ever so perfectly! That You brought me to look at my thoughts from last year just as I was coming out from under the cloud. That You reminded me of my own prayers to You, and Your loving answer! Oh, how well You have done for me, my Lord. And, as much as I have hated what I just went through, I see, as I knew I must, that You have indeed brought very good things from what seemed so miserable. And, knowing this, knowing how much the hurt may be, I renew that prayer to You, and ask that You would do whatever is needful to continue producing in me the patient endurance that so pleases You, for I know that this indeed leads to a firmer hope, a hope secure in knowing it will be done.
Finally, I just want to put this quote down again, where I'll be sure to find it. When I first read this (almost a week ago), it so impressed me that I couldn't attempt to paraphrase it, but wanted it whole. I printed it out to share with folks at church, because it just blew me away. And it still does. What an awesome, awesome thing to consider, and to remember! I pray that I will remember it every time I am before Your eyes, my Lord (which is ever and always)!
"We love him because he first loved us; and we love him with a love worthy of himself, because it springs from him: it is his own; and every flame that rises from this pure and vigorous fire must be pleasing in his sight: it consumes what is unholy; refines every passion and appetite; sublimes the whole, and assimilates all to itself. And we know that this is the love of God."