New Thoughts (4/12/01-4/13/01)
There are a number of things I want to consider from this study. However, before I do so, I need to briefly note a dream of last night. There's not a great deal of it that I can remember clearly, but I recall being a visitor in somebody's house. I watched, as it were in the third person, our hostess open a door in the kitchen to retrieve something or other, only to find a steep descent opened into the cellar, and at its base, a stone-rimmed well in the floor. From the well, a glow of fire, and in it, a ladder descending. The sense of vertigo that enveloped both her, and myself, was palpable. Her fear was abundantly evident. But, at the moment when it seemed that descent was inevitable, a hand covered the well, fairly filling the cellar, and a voice was heard saying "This is the hand of God." A while later, the scene shifted to myself lying on a bed, pulling up the covers because I was cold. Yet each time I pulled the covers over myself something pulled them back off. At first I blamed our dog, calling to him to stop playing. At this point, on one side or the other of actually waking (the line's a bit bleary), I could see the shadow of a man-like being crouched over me and grasping the blankets to pull again, but it fled as soon as I noted its presence. Now rather more fully awake that I care to be at that hour of the night, I turned swiftly to prayer, vocal and earnest, calling on the blood of my Savior, and casting out whatever had come into the room by His Holy Name.
Where dream ended and reality began, I'll not attempt to determine from this vantage point. But, in thinking on this dream, it has been brought home that there are two covers available to a man. The first is the cover he attempts to put on himself, the veneer of apparent goodness. We are trained from an early age to 'put a good face on things.' However, God declares this for what it truly is, hypocrisy. And He condemns it. In this covering by which we attempt to fool others, we wind up fooling ourselves, and God must pull this cover from over our eyes to reveal to us our own true nature. Convinced of our goodness, we stop seeking after Him, and so approach that glowing well of destruction. Thanks be to God that there is a second cover, the cover of Jesus' own righteousness. He came to be the one righteous man, to do that which has ever been impossible for us. The righteous, spotless sacrifice, He laid down His life to pay the penalty that all our sinful ways would ever require of God's justice. This was no dance of diplomacy, such as we've seen played out recently, but a real and true satisfaction of the rule of a True and Righteous God. This cover, Satan ever tries to pull from us, for through it his attacks cannot pierce. This cover, but for the grace of God, we would all too readily cast aside, indeed in our daily actions we often seem to try very hard to do just that. But He is faithful even when we are not. He is patient beyond all comprehension to bring us to our senses yet again, and put us back under the covers where we are safe once more.
Jesus, moreso today than in a very long time, I am so thankful for the life You purchased for me, for Your willingness to walk through the anguish You doubtless felt at being separated from the Father for even so brief a time. My need for You is so very clear to me this morning, it is clear that I have been presumptuous to come before Your Holiness without You as my Advocate. I thank You that You have provided a way into the throne room of Grace, that You have taken up my defense, that You stand for me in the courts of righteousness. In You and You alone, I have my covering, and You will suffice for all my needs. Blessing and glory and honor be Yours, my Savior, my Lord.
How apt this message in the night is to this section of Scripture! I look at the notes I had culled out from the commentaries yesterday, and see so much of the same message being given through these sources, and through this very passage of Romans. Here in the first few verses, we are given the warning: We have taken God's kind patience lightly, seeing in it a license to sin the more. As Calvin has pointed out, when we attempt to cover ourselves in our own opinions, we see God's blessings upon us, but forget the God who provides those blessings. As in the previous passage, we come to think more of the creation than the Creator, and seeing our prosperity, we put our trust in it, rather than in Him. Here is a test for us! For God will bless us, because He loves us. He will also bless us that we may know ourselves the better by our reaction to that blessing. Will we receive His blessing as a cause to rejoice in Him, to revere Him all the more, or will we forget Him and idolize the blessing He gave? This test has been played out over and over in the course of history. Read the records of Israel, and see that every time prosperity came to the land, they forgot the God who had carried them through the lean times. We are no different. Look at this nation we live in today. In times of trial, America was a place of prayer and faith, but as prosperity came upon us, as the blessing for our faithfulness bore fruit, we turned it to evil ends, forgetting from whence it came. As Calvin indicates, by unlawful use, we turn the blessing into a curse. We return to a life of sinful choices, each sin showing how little we care for His goodness and patience towards us. Oh Lord! Help me to keep this foremost in my mind! That lack of caring for You, how can I tolerate it? God help me, for I know this to be true, that I have all too often pushed You from my mind that I might be free to pursue my wrongful desires. Father, forgive me. Jesus, I lean wholly upon Your defense, for I am defenseless without You. Holy Spirit, fill this house of flesh once more, that I may obey the truth in full. Indeed, it is clear to me why, as we have been told, this passage was written to warn 'those who boasted of their purity of faith and life.' The 'monstrous sinner' is far more aware of his sin than the one who thinks himself pure of faith. Lord, save us from this self delusion. Were it in us to live such a pure life for even a day, You could have saved Yourself a whole lot of anguish. Thank You, Lord, for being faithful to pull the scales from our eyes that we might see ourselves clearly.
I will note also, the clear message that is delivered in this passage: it's not the words of a man that You concern Yourself with, although they count. It's not the visible deeds of a man that You concern Yourself with, although they count. All the study I could make in a lifetime would not serve to justify me in the least. Declaring myself Your servant will not make me so. But You look to the true disposition of the man, You look at what really goes on inside me in making Your judgment, in determining the blessing or curse my life demands. As Clarke indicates, it is the one that 'lives in a conscientious obedience to the known will of God' that will find himself receiving the reward of eternal life. It is the constancy of action that will disclose the real inner man. A faith without actions is indeed, as James writes, a dead faith. But it is not the next man's deeds I am called to look upon and judge, but my own. Only You truly know the heart, and only You can truly reveal to me what lies in my heart. And what You have revealed is more than sufficient to humble me in my shame. Yet, I know I that my Redeemer lives, and I know that He has made a way for my heart to change. I know You have been working in and around me to soften me, to allow me to conform to Your molding hands. Lord, teach me Your compassion, by Your Spirit within me, working with me, make me a man after Your own heart, true to Your ways, committed to Your will. Father, I look at the constancy of my actions, and I am not pleased by what I see. Too often, my obedience is far less than conscientious, and what that reveals of me is a great need for change yet to be accomplished. I thank You that by my very desire to change I know Your presence. I thank You that even in the night, You remind me that there is no call to fear, for You are with me. You are working. You are changing, but as a careful potter, You make the changes gently, so as not to break me beyond repair. Oh, but I would that You could work this material more swiftly! Oh, that You could complete Your work even today! Jesus! Son of David! I need Your touch so much today. It's only Your love, revealed and held fast, that's keeping me held together in sight of myself. Change me, oh Lord, change me. I cannot stay as I have been. I cannot continue in callousness and intolerance. I cannot continue in prideful displays. What have You required of me, but to walk humbly before You, and yet even that proves to be beyond me. Humble me, indeed, oh God, that I might know You more.
On one final note, I will include the two Scriptures pointed out in Barnes' notes, for the juxtaposition of the stands as a great reminder to me of what my life ought to look like. The first stands as confirmation of the final verse of this passage: Partiality is a sin (Jas 2:9). How, then, could one expect God, who is righteous, and who cannot tolerate even the sight of sin, to be partial in His judgments? And Peter reminds us in 1Pe 1:17, that if we truly know this, if we truly believe that the Father judges each man's work impartially, we really ought to live like we believe it. Where is the proper fear of God in our daily lives? How dare we to do the things we so often do, knowing that His judgment will ever be righteous and true? Teach us, Lord, to love Your law, and to keep Your ways.