New Thoughts (10/21/01-10/22/01)
Way back in the fall of last year, this passage caused me to ask where my focus was. And that question comes again. Do I continue to live for this world still? What is the tendency of my life? What does it say about me? Surely, it is true that I still find cause to enjoy the things this life affords. I enjoy the comforts of a good home, good meals, and good company. I enjoy the beauty of this creation my God has placed me in for a time. This, I don't think, is necessarily living for this world, but rather reflects in its own way a thankfulness to God for the time He has caused me to be here, for the pleasant pastures He has led me to. No, living for this world is something more. It's a focus. It's allowing the acquisition of accumulated things to become more important than the acquisition of the knowledge of God. It's a matter of being so focused on the work of our livelihood that we forget the work of our Lord. It's a matter of allowing the surrounding culture to impact us, rather than working to impact that culture by our own. It's a matter of forgetting that we are but tourists in this world.
We had a group of young drama players with us last week, and one question they posed to us was this: if they were to ask our neighbors whether we were truly Christians, what would they answer? I suppose one ought to add to this the question: would they know what truly defines a Christian? All the things that define a fleshly life present a real and present danger to the Church today. Bookstores entice us to buy lots of books that in the end are mere spiritual fluff, yet seem almost empty of anything really serious and needful to the Christian. More space is devoted to crafts and gifts of a 'spiritual' nature, than to works of spiritual import. Every weakness and avaricious tendency available in the rest of society is made abundantly available to the Christian, as 'our' industry seeks to model itself after the successes of the world. Should it not be a warning shout to our ears when major corporations seek out and buy out Christian competitors? We rejoice, because we're making an impact, but who's impacting whom? Are our artists focused on the Lord still? I pray they are, but the enticements of hitting the big time are ever present, the temptation to become 'all about me' is waiting for the chance to have at them.
I come back to the question of our young friend: do they know? What is the tendency of my life? If all the banners and bumper stickers were stripped away, would Christ still be evident in me? What about my coworkers? Do they know? Do they think I'm a Christian as Christ conceived of His followers, or do they think I'm one of those typical examples, one of those that give greater cause not to follow Him? Lord God I pray that they can see a difference, that Your Spirit within me is being allowed to shine out in such a way that in spite of my many mistakes and failings, You remain evident. My heart wants me to believe that I am truly devoted to You, but I know how deceptive its testimony can be. My mind wants me to believe that I am a failure, but I know better than to believe its every whisper. I want Your words on this one. I want to know Your thoughts, for You know me better than I can know myself. Lord, give me confidence to walk according to Your ways. Correct me, or better stop me, when I wander from You path. Your promise is that I will hear Your voice pointing out the path whenever I stray to the left or to the right. I pray that You would shout that warning before I wander off. I pray that You would strengthen my soul within me to heed Your warning cries.
Truly, this is a matter of life and death for each one of us. God has warned us over and over again. Unless we repent and turn away, unless we forsake our own ways and follow after Him, we will continue to live in a waking death. Until we are able to truly forsake our old ways, we will remain locked in 'all the evils of a personal, and direct, and eternal warfare with the Lord Almighty,' as Mr. Barnes has said. But how are we to accomplish this? How shall we set aside these things that entangle us? With Paul, we are forced to cry out. Like Paul, we will find no answer to our dilemma within ourselves. We must turn away from our own ways, but the only way we can turn away from ourselves is to turn toward our Savior.
And this, we cannot do. It is not in us to willfully turn aside from our pursuits. Like children bent on pursuing our games, we will not of our own accord turn away from what seems fun. The will of natural man is just as opposed to God's will, as the will of the child is to the responsibilities and duties thrust upon him. Our mind is not capable of making itself subject to the will of God. We are way too stubborn for that. We like to be the ones in control, or at least to think we are in control. We resist subjection to God because there is no room in that subjection for fooling ourselves into thinking we remain in charge. We would rather continue in our delusions of control, ignoring the fact of our submission to the rule of sin. Do you doubt that rule? Seek to break free in your own power. You will quickly find that you are incapable of breaking free. Try to walk through your daily life for even one day with no thought for the opposite sex. Short of locking yourself away from all contact, playing the monk, you will find this to be an impossible task. In fact, in the effort to remain pure, we inevitably come to the point of not even wanting to obey God. We would rather pursue our sins than feel the anguish of struggling against them. We would rather lose ourselves in endless diversions than know the shame of recognizing the truth about ourselves.
The will of man is always opposed to God's will. It knows no other thing than this battle. But God. Even though we were dead, even when we were dead, God loved us. Even when we were locked in a contest of wills, even when we were out and out rebels against His kingdom, He loved us. He loved us so much that He sent His Son, and through His death brought resurrection not only to His Son, but to us as well. Where we could not will, He willed. Do you think you found Jesus? Do you still hold to the idea that you chose Him? Nothing of the sort! Look again at Ephesians 2:5. Your salvation has come by grace alone. You were dead. Can dead men choose anything? No, they have gone beyond choosing. All their choices have been made. But God. He reached into our graves, just as He had reached into Jesus' grave before us. He put within us a spirit that was enabled to choose life. He put within us a Spirit that is life! Our works are empty things, unless He work within us. Our confessions are equally empty things, unless His work is evident without us.
What evidence do our works give? Are we better described by Galatians 5:19-21, or 5:22-25? Do we display the works of the flesh, or the works of the Spirit? One and only one of these principles can possibly rule our lives. It's either flesh or Spirit, it cannot be both, and it cannot be neither. Which one we have given primacy in our lives will show in our character and in our actions. Our works are not the cause of our salvation. They cannot be. No, they are intended as evidence of our salvation, of God working in us to change our hearts from cold stone to warm, compassionate flesh. What do we seek? Profit and honor, or God's favor? Do we seek to secure our fortunes, or do we seek the kingdom of God? I don't know about you, but I get real edgy around these questions, for I fear the answer comes short of what I would like to be able to say. The things of the world remain a strong attraction, one which I am only intermittently able to resist, in all truth. I pray that I might take heed to the warning Mr. Barnes offers us: if God has declared His dislike of worldly things, our devotion to them cannot but lead to hating Him. If He has declared our favorite things to be bad, shall we rejoice in His verdict? Or shall we walk away?
Lord, I long to know a pure heart in all these things. I long to be sure that my ways are pleasing to You. Yet, all too often, I am far more certain that the exact opposite is the case. How many times do I mentally kick myself for being a worse example than the nonbelievers that surround me? How often do I have to wonder at the very fact that You love me? I don't want to be found to have fooled myself into thinking I know You. I want to be found a faithful servant in Your eyes, even if not my own. Create in me a clean heart, oh God. Cast all iniquity away from me! May the sacrifice of my life, of my desires, to You prove a true and pleasing offering in Your eyes. I am thankful that my Lord and Savior has cleansed not only my life, but my prayers and my efforts. I am thankful that You look at me through Your Son, seeing not my broken efforts, but His perfection. I thank You that because of my Mediator, my sacrifices are not an abomination to You (Pr 15:8), but are a sweet aroma in Your courts. Praise be to the Lord of my salvation, the Author and Finisher of my faith!