Calvin (8/6/02)
- 16:21-16:24
- In noting those who are with him, Paul not only promotes a wider unity, but also adds weight to his teaching by the witness of those who sign their concurrence with it.
The end of this study approaches, a study that has crossed more than two years of my life now. For over a year of that time, I've been on my second trip through the book, seeing what others have said about these words, and seeing what I was saying, myself, in the previous year. It's been a sometimes frustrating, sometimes exciting opportunity to see what the Lord has done.
I have seen in myself a change of style through the course of these studies, most especially during this second pass. With Paul, I have found it needful to stay closer to his words in paraphrasing than was the case with John. John writes from the heart to the heart. Paul, it seems, wants the mind fully engaged as well. His are carefully planned arguments for faith, true faith, solid faith, and they require attentiveness from us.
I have seen my own beliefs solidify on many questions, as I have found seemingly all the questions upon which denominations have arisen in the course of these studies. It has been a rare opportunity to see so many sides of an issue in parallel, especially in the middle chapters of the book. I find I am more and more comfortable with my beliefs, having seen more of the foundations they stand upon. I recall, at one point, a walk in the woods with a brother of mine, during which we were discussing some of the more difficult things that one comes across in studying Romans - things like predestination and free will, things that have divided beliefs through the centuries. In the course of these discussions, I hit upon describing the full doctrine of belief as being much like a symphony. I touched on the idea of the rootless chord that some jazz musicians came to love because they allowed the music to proceed in more than one possible direction. This rootless chord struck me as a fitting allegory for a doctrine that doesn't hold together. It doesn't answer all the questions. It leaves us with multiple paths we could choose to follow.
A full and complete doctrine, such as Paul has given us here, is more of a symphonic approach. The full chord, root and all, is present, and there is no question in the listener's mind as to which way things are going. It's like the dominant seventh chord, which leaves us absolutely certain of the chord to come, and the key we will be in. It requires no understanding. It does not even require that we know what that dominant seventh is. It requires only hearing the sound, and our spirit knows where we're going. Good doctrine is like this. When we hear it, we know where we're going. We may not understand it fully, we may not know the theological terms involved, but we know in our spirit that we have heard truth, and we know where that truth must inevitably take us.
I have seen, in times of reviewing sections of this study, prayers that seem to have gone unanswered, places in which it seems I have failed to change. These hurt to see. These cause me to pray all the more earnestly, recognizing that I have forgotten. The number of times I have seen pride appear in these studies in one fashion or another, the number of its disguises that have been revealed by God's word, have left me praying repeatedly to have that pride removed from me. Yet, it seems I am constantly coming across pride in some other form, and must return to praying.
But, there are the positive things, as well; the places I have seen God moving most wonderfully. Last night was a reflection of just such an occasion, especially seen in light of this morning's review. I see, this morning, the reminder of a prayer I had prayed early last year, a prayer that my role as leader of this family, especially in things spiritual, might be faithfully fulfilled. There were 'teachings' that my dear wife was listening to, and accepting, that concerned me. I was not yet established as a teacher at that point, and had little input into her understanding. I truly felt I was looking at a case of innocence without the guarding wisdom.
My prayer was that I would become a faithful leader for this family. I had also been praying for some time to find what it was that God has had me doing these studies for. Somewhere early in that year, I began teaching for a home group at my assistant Pastor's house. Rather a daunting task, to sit amongst such spiritual elders and seek to bring a lesson worth hearing, and to avoid stepping on some doctrinal toes! Eventually, that study moved to my own home. We saw most, eventually all, of those who had attended at Pastor's home drop away. It was an opportunity to be discouraged, to decide that I had misunderstood and throw in the towel. But, together with my wife, it was decided that we would remain faithful to hold this study time, regardless of who might or might not come.
We have remained as faithful as the night allows, with one exception last week. Except where illness, vacation, or church activities have prevented us, we have been there praying and studying. In times when it was just Jan and I, it's been wonderful. I have seen us both growing, both in understanding of God's word, and in understanding of each other's gifts. We are occasionally joined by others, and in those times I have also been blessed, as I watch God impart into the lives of those who come, having planned the lesson they needed to hear. Indeed, in this home group, I have learned another lesson in being content in plenty or in want.
But last night was a special moment. I had my wife and daughter for students, as we studied the 8th commandment. I was trying to get at the understanding that the law against stealing also contained within it the need to give from our plenty to the needs around us. I turned to Jesus' encounter with the rich young man, as well as the instructions of Moses in Leviticus to show that this had been part of the meaning of "Thou shalt not steal." In teaching this bit, I found in myself something that had not been there before, an ability to engage my daughter fully in what we were studying. It can be hard enough for me to bring my studies down from my thoughts to my words, and trying to get it to a point that children could grab on to had just eluded me. But, last night, I saw my daughter fully engaged. I saw her answering questions with wisdom, I saw her grab hold of a new truth. I was so fully blessed by this!
Indeed, on many fronts, I see that God has been in the process of answering my prayers in both regards, in regard to teaching, and in regard to leading. I have walked in to leadership in home and at work. I have been learning to apply His ways to my leadership, and to allow His wisdom to be my teacher. I am so in awe of what He has been doing over this last year or so!
Even now, as I see (in the eyes of my flesh) a hard time ahead, with my present job rapidly reaching a close, and no firm job beyond it; even now, I am thrilled by what He is doing. I have seen, as I have noted, His timing of my study on Providence preparing me for what was to come. I have been able to strengthen myself and my family by the understanding of His control over our life and circumstance. That same aspect of God which brought me to Him when I didn't even know what it was called, that 'dominant seventh' that led me inevitably to Himself, is reinforcing our trust in Him now, in this place of trial. We have been content in Him in times of want, and we have, I believe, remained faithful to Him in times of plenty. What He will bring next, we cannot know for certain from this place, but we know - whether it be times of no income, or simply a change of venue - we know that He is in control, that He will provide our needs, that He will give us reason to rejoice. We know, and are exceedingly glad, that all our days our in His hands, and there can be no better place. My heart is filled with a good theme, the glory of our Lord, the wonders of His ways, the joy of His provision in our lives!