New Thoughts
It is intriguing that where the Pelagian / Clarke view offers a test we are hopelessly unable to pass, the Classical / Barnes view offers re-assurance beyond measure. Not a false hope, but a full understanding of what God has done for us! I am so thankful that my God does not expect the impossible of me (although I ought to expect the impossible of Him), but rather works to enable me to be more than I am. I am thankful that He works in a way that ensures that I'll not forget my need for His cleansing touch on my life. But there is another side to this. God, I'm concerned when I look at my life. I don't see that the fruit of it says much of anything good about my tree, and I beg You to prune away my deadwood; to change my very nature, that I might bear the fruits of righteousness. I know that to some extent I have to recognize that I'll always fall short of the goal of true righteousness, but I also know that this is not a sufficient excuse for my state. Lord, the anger and frustration that dog me each day are not the signs of Your abiding presence. The coldness I often feel toward others is not the love You show and ask me to show. Such things have to make me ask: am I Yours? I know we've met. That is undeniable. I know I've changed in some areas - my interests have largely turned toward a greater understanding of You - but am I truly Yours? I have to believe I am, for Your visitation could not have been fruitless, could it? Yet I seem to myself - never mind others - to be so far from what I ought to be. God, help me for the present to hold to the assurance that Your seed will preserve me; will keep me from falling away. Help me for the present to know if my path is true to Your desire, or if it's only following my own. Help me to know - once more, beyond any possible shadow of turning and doubt - that I am Yours; that You truly are my God; that You truly have called me Your child. I need to know Your touch. I need the sustaining presence of my God with me to face the strains that present themselves these days. Lord, I'm overwhelmed by circumstances - and this ought not to be. So I come to You this morning - this Sunday [2/6/00] - asking for Your touch. I come asking for an undeniable, reconstructing, renewing, life-changing, never-the-same-again visit with my Father today. Change me and I will be changed. Change me from within, burn away the sin, cleanse that which remains, comfort all my pains. Lord, change me. I cannot continue in this state. I cannot go any farther without knowing You are with me. Here and now, I stand with Moses and say "if You won't go with me, I'm not going." I love You, Lord. This much I know. I may not love You well, or even as I ought to, but I love You. I need You. I need Your presence within, I need You reminding me how I ought to be, I need You pointing out the traps and pitfalls before I cheerfully throw myself at them. I need You. Come to me, and let my blind eyes see. Come to me, and set me free! Let Your Spirit cover me.