New Thoughts (4/23/00)
It occurs to me that I really should have been dating these things all along. However, I haven't done so before, so I'll just start it here. It's funny in a way that I'd missed the implications of John's opening prayer. Having had it pointed out, it's good to see a basis for healing that's kept in balance with God's priorities. This is the piece that seems to get lost too often when the focus becomes zeroed in on the physical blessings. Yes, we should certainly pray for each other's health. Yes, it's probably even acceptable to pray for our own - although I've got, perhaps, too much childhood training to get past the selfishness of this. But spiritual health has got to come first! Without that, it's gaining the world while losing our soul - worse than a waste. God, my prayer at this moment is that You would bring each one of us here to that place that John found Gaius in: where our spiritual health is the reasonable mark for our physical health to attain to. I pray for Jan, that You would bring her body to the place where her soul has reached. I pray that You would cause her soul to reach higher still. I pray for Nicole, that You would establish her in Your love, that You would make it real to her and not just a game. I see signs that this is happening, and yet it's so hard to tell the difference sometimes. Perhaps I should rather pray that You would clear my eyes to see the truth in my family. I pray for myself, that You would make these times even better, and that You would help me to retain those things You've shown me in these times together. I pray, further, that You would help me to become as open with my dear wife as I've slowly come to be with You. I am so very thankful that I know You hear me in these writings. I'm more thankful that You understand my weakness in not receiving Your answers as well as I might. But, even more than that, I'm thankful that You take time to explain it to me, so that I can accept the work You are doing to bring about these answers. Your such a gentle Father. Help me to learn from Your example, oh God. Burnish away the rough edges of this crusty old man, and allow me to love and teach as You love and teach me.